Colbert started reporting that Democrat Hillary Clinton ended up beating Bernie Sanders by “three-tenths of one percent, or as it’s known in Iowa, Carl.” And on top of that, Clinton won six out of six tiebreaker coin tosses.
“With that kind of coin-flipping prowess, forget the Democrats. The Broncos should draft Hillary for the Super Bowl on Sunday,” Colbert said. “I mean, after all, I think she may be younger than Peyton Manning.”
More than anything else, Colbert was horrified by the new, conciliatory tone struck by Donald Trump after he came in second to Ted Cruz on the Republican side. “Who are you and what have you done with Donald Trump’s body?” he wanted to know. “This man is an imposter. I mean, that is clearly a wig.”