Actor Rob Lowe might have been the guest of honor at Comedy Central’s roast Saturday night, but it was conservative pundit Ann Coulter who got burned the hardest at the annual no-holds-barred celebrity diss-off.
“Ann Coulter wants to help Trump make America great again. You can start by wearing a burka. You have a face that would make doves cry,” said roast veteran Jeff Ross, who was dressed in purple as Prince. “That voice, it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard in an inner-city school you wanna defund,” he said. “Ann’s against gay marriage. What’s your thinking on that? If I can’t get a husband they shouldn’t, either?”
Saturday Night Live cast member Pete Davidson quipped, “If you are here, Ann, who is scaring the crows away from our crops?”
Former NFL quarterback Peyton Manning had a joke about her appearance, too: “I just realized that I’m not the only athlete up here tonight. As you all know, earlier this year Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby.”
There were also lines about Coulter’s political views. “Ann Coulter has written 11 books, 12 if you count Mein Kampf,” said comedian Nikki Glaser. “Ann, you’re awful. The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave.”
“She seems stiff and conservative, but Ann gets wild in the sheets. Just ask the Klan,” said Roast Master David Spade. “It looks like she’s having a good time. I haven’t seen her laugh this hard since Trayvon Martin got shot.”
Folk singer Jewel won the crowd over with this: “As a feminist I can’t support everything that’s been said tonight,” she said, “but as someone who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted.”
But British comedian Jimmy Carr really let Coulter have it. He called her “repugnant,” “hateful,” and “hatchet-faced.” “But it’s not too late to change that,” he said. “You could kill yourself.”
Lowe, who was a bit shaken at the end of the night after having to relive his troubled past in front of his family, didn’t think any of the jokes were out of line. He likened the event to a professional sport. “If you’re in the NFL, hit hard. This is the NFL, you’re here to hit. There are other places to do soft jokes … if you’re on the Comedy Central Roast, you better bring your A-game.”