Last Week Tonight show host John Oliver said on last night episode, “We did not want to talk about the election at all this week. We so wanted to give everyone a break,”
“It seems Anthony Weiner is forcing the nation to relitigate the entire email controversy, and putting Hillary Clinton’s chances of winning the presidency in serious danger—Carlos Danger,” joked Oliver.
Perhaps the most frustrating thing about all of this is that we don’t know yet whether this is a huge problem or whether it’s barely a problem at all, because FBI Director James Comey pointed out in his letter to Congress that ‘the FBI cannot yet assess whether or not this material may be significant,’ and sources have since dampened expectations of what might emerge.”
“OK, so nine days out from the election, the FBI has basically delivered us the equivalent of a mystery box. And like the box from the end of Se7en, it could contain anything from nothing to Gwyneth Paltrow’s head—although it almost definitely contains Anthony Weiner’s penis,” quipped Oliver. “And the chances of getting this resolved before the election seem slim.”
“So, to recap: The grinding hell of this election has thrown in yet another twist—with the election hanging in the balance—all thanks to the fact that Anthony Weiner allegedly sexted with a 15-year-old girl,” exclaimed Oliver. “We have burrowed through not just rock bottom, but through the core of the earth. And we’ve come bursting out the other side, startling kangaroos, and we’re currently hurtling toward outer space where there is no up, down, light, or darkness—just an endless void in which death comes as sweet, sweet relief. Please let this thing be over soon!”